Panic and Anxiety can kill you….

Panic and Anxiety disorder CAN kill you…. if it causes doctors to not take you seriously. So…. I got my first true experience of being treated poorly because of my past anxiety disorder and my allergies. I am thankful this happened to me and not my daughter.


On November 18th I went to the hospital with severe stomach pains. During this visit I broke out in a rash. The doctor informed me that it was just “in my head” and I was being “anxious” (due to “anxiety” that was written on my medical records from something that happened a decade ago but I haven’t been treated for since) but agreed to give me benadryl anyway. Around 20 minutes or more after the benadryl was given the rash slowly started to fade. I was diagnosed with a bacterial infection in my intestinal tract and given 2 strong antibiotics. I warned the doctor that I am prone to antibiotic allergies and again he told me I was “just being anxious”……I felt like a total idiot….

I thought this would be the end of my episode till a few nights later when I returned to the same emergency with stomach pains. (My doctor’s office was closed for holiday and it was late at night) I told the doctor I think I’m having an issue with the medications…possibly an allergy. The doctor says he is positive that it is a UTI and prescribes MORE antibiotics  (I was already on almost 4000mg of antibiotics). Well I don’t fill them because it was late. The next day my heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of my chest and a family member checks me. My heart rate is jumping up to 165 resting and blood pressure is 178/115. It reminded me of how my body reacted as I slowly became allergic to eggs in my early 20’s.

My family eventually talks me into returning to the same emergency room. I’m reluctant at this point as each time I go I feel like an idiot who is just “anxious”. Once I get there and they get me back my HR is down to 120 and BP is 150/95… not AS high but still higher than my norm of 70bpm and 115/76. This time another doctor says she thinks it’s purely “anxiety”… I ask if it could be a reaction to the antibiotics I’m on. The doctor says she is sure it is JUST anxiety. I literally cry the drive home because I feel so silly.

Well within 36 hours I end up back in the same ER with a severe patchy rash that looks like a very bad case of eczema… slightly swollen face and throat. This time they agree it’s an allergic reaction and tell me to stop all meds. They give me a simple steroid to take and let me sit there for 30 mins. They then send me on my way with instructions to take benadryl and fill the steroid prescription. I’m amazed they push me out so fast!!!!


Within 45 mins of leaving the emergency room I am back. This time the reaction had come back with a vengeance. I can hardly breath. They finally treat and monitor me properly!!!!

I have never in my life felt so mistreated by medical professionals. BTW I DIDN’T even have a UTI at all…. so they were wrong there as well. They judged me based on an anxiety diagnosis that came right after my boyfriend/longtime friend died in my early 20s….they treated me like I was crazy.

When I was finally able to get into my allergist a few days after reaction. She seemed to just know that the second stomach ache, the high HR, and high blood pressure were infact an allergy manifestation. She said these symptoms were quit common of an allergy infact. I really wish the medical community as a whole would get a better understanding of allergies and learn to listen to their patients. No one should be treated as if they a crazy because they have previously suffered anxiety. However..the biggest lesson here is I shouldn’t have doubted my gut instinct….. I should have pushed them to hear me…. I never should have allowed them to railroad me and make me feel as if I didn’t know my own body.


The reason I have put photos of my daughter all throughout this post is…. THIS is what would have been lost had I hesitated more to go in to the emergency room for my allergic reaction. Anaphylaxis is serious and can kill quickly….yet I was almost embarrassed to go get help. I was afraid it wouldn’t be anaphylactic shock and they would treat me as if I was crazy again. My daughter could have lost a mother…. a mom she’s never gone even one night without in her whole 5 years.

I really hope to one day find a way to prevent another person from feeling how I did throughout this whole situation…..

Thank you for “listening”…..


DIY Can Toss Game

As previously mentioned it is *ALMOST* time for my daughter’s birthday party!!! We have picked a “girly” carnival theme and are making the games ourselves. My daughter has had so much fun preparing for this birthday. We already made a Ring Toss Game … so our next project was a ♡ can toss game ♡ This project was simple enough for Kya to do with basically no assistance.


1. Your kid

2. Empty coffee cans (the amount and size depends on your particular coffee addiction… we used 3 smaller cans)

3. Decorative duct tape (we found ours at the dollar store. *Warning some tapes contain latex* So if you or your child has a latex allergy be mindful)

4. Safety Scissors

5. Balls (We purchased small bean bag balls from a party supplies store for 40 cents each)


The rest was easy peasy. Kya covered the cans in the decorative tape…. ☆that’s it☆….. then TADA!!!!!


♡♡♡♡♡A can toss game!!!♡♡♡♡♡


DIY Ring Toss Game

So as I’ve said….my daughter’s birthday party is coming up. I have settled on a “Girly” carnival theme and this means we needed to create lots of lil games for the party. I thought this theme would be fun because it would allow Kya to help me make more things for her birthday.

If you follow you remember we made some colored rice not too long ago (Check out the “We LOVE colored rice!!!” post) and I showed the type of games we make with the colored rice in our last post “Sight Word Sensory Bin”.

Now I will show you a ring toss game we made for Kya’s upcoming birthday….


1. Your kid (or you can borrow a friend’s kid…long as you tell them you’re borrowing them lol)

2. Lots of colorful rice (yes “lots” is a measurement in this house..we really aren’t “exact” measurement people in this house…just sayin).

3. Some bottles (Don’t you love how descriptive I am… any bottles will work but we used 16.9 ounce water bottles… plastic of course because my child is destructive).

4. A funnel that fits in bottle top (you can try it without this but it’s a little harder).

5. Colorful duct tape (I wanted multiple colors and I found mine at the dollar store. *Warning some tapes contain latex* So if you or your child have a latex allergy be mindful)

6. Rope cut into strips (the length of strip depends on the size of the bottles and the skill of the players. It obviously needs to be a lil bigger for lil kids)


The process was simple really….we removed lables from our water bottles….we used the funnel to fill the bottles with our colored rice….then we used the decorative tape to put in place of where the labels used to be….lastly we formed rings out of our pieces of rope…and covered rings in decorative tape as well…… TADA!!!!

We had a ring toss game that Kya had fun helping mommy make!!!!


Sight Word Sensory Bin

As I explained in the previous post…
“We LOVE colored rice!!!”
I sometimes like to make sensory bins out of our colored rice.

The great thing about sensory bins is the possibilities are truly endless and you can adjust them to your child.

For instance, I’m currently working on sight words with Kya…. (BTW we homeschool lol) and she loves Monster High.

With those things in mind… I put together a lil bin using our colored rice….


I found some mini Monster High characters in the clearance isle at Walmart and decided to use them in our bin.

The plastic box that traps our lil Clawdeen is just a Gerber baby food container… (Kya is a huge fan of using baby food pears to sweeten her oatmeal and we also use them to replace eggs in some baking projects) and I’ve cut slips of paper to fit in the lids. On the slips of paper I’ve written sight words. However… you can honestly do lots of things… maybe even math problems?!?!

I put the lil monster (or whatever toy/prize I prefer) in the box. Pick the word/math problem…pop it in the lid…close box…bury it… (I usually bury quite a few in our bigger bins but just 2 or 3 in small bins like this)… Then I let Kya loose!! ♡She then digs up one of the boxes and has to read the secret word/solve the problem to release her lil monster friend♡

She truly enjoys this game 🙂

So there is an example of the type of bins we make with our colored rice… we are always open to new ideas… ♡♡♡

We LOVE colored rice!!!

Today we completed another craft that will be used at Kya’s 5th birthday.

♡ We made colored rice!!! ♡

The process is simple and you can find a million detailed blog posts about it… but… with that said…. here is our post about it lol…

What will a million and one posts hurt.. if an even million didn’t??? *shrugs*



1. The ☆cheapest☆ brand of white rice available (we made two cups per color)

2. The ☆cheapest☆ vinegar available (we used about a tablespoon per cup of rice… ok… honestly I just eyed it.)

3. Measuring cup (we used a 2 cup to measure out rice and a smaller one cup for vinegar)

4. Plastic dish with lid (any kind of dish with a snapping lid. The tighter it closes the better since you are going to shake it like crazy. Plastic is best.)

5. Spoon of some type (really… any spoon or spatula will work)

6. Food coloring (we used Betty Crocker brand gel food color in neon colors. Use as much or as little as you like to get the color you want)

7. Plastic wrap…wax paper (or something of the such)

8. Dishes…pans…cookie sheets…(just SOMETHING you can spread your colored rice on to dry)

Then the process is simple…….


As you can see Kya had a blast… especially on the shaking part!!!

Between each batch I would just rinse the dish/lid….then wipe dry….and move on to the next color.

After you have shaken enough to mix the color (sometimes we had a glob that wouldn’t mix well but ehhhh whatevs) you then need to pour out the colored rice on something to dry.

I lined dishes with plastic wrap but most blogs recommend wax paper and other things…. We were just working with what we had around the house *shrugs* it didn’t make a difference in the final product.

We got some amazing and bright colors…


As I said…

We are going to use this rice for Kya’s upcoming birthday first and foremost but many people use it for crafts and to make sensory bins.

We will use the rice for other things after the birthday party…(we like to reuse materials as much as possible)… I will make a post later to show you one of the sensory bin games we do with our colored rice but for now… I have colorful rice and a happy child!!!

Jus a little birthday craft

My daughter Kya’s 5th birthday is a few weeks away and I decided to have her help me make some birthday decorations. Of course we could just buy them all but….I must confess… I LOVE BIRTHDAYS!!! My husband is my polar opposite… he is one of those “My birthday is just another day” people. NOT ME…I have a birthday WEEK!!!  So I am hoping to help my daughter love birthdays as much as I do. I figured a good way to start is with birthday decoration crafts. Kya looooves crafts!!!

We are starting off by making things that we already have the materials for. Today we made signs that spell out her name. We used white printer paper… construction paper…markers… crayons.. a slightly thick backing (we used some cardboard squares we had stored away for painting projects)…and decorative tape for the edges.

We weren’t looking for perfection. I just wanted her to enjoy the project and get excited about her upcoming birthday.


Above is the letters Kya helped color. You can see imperfections (more on my end than hers lol) but overall they look ok for the fact that they are free hand drawn…. we unfortunately did NOT have stencils laying around.

Now… I’m not gonna do a step by step guide here…this isn’t really a tutorial. I just wanted to share our fun. I love to look at the things other people make… it always gives me ideas of my own.


Were not really finished yet. We still need to add ribbon to the top to hang them. Maybe you will see the final product in her birthday pictures. We are going to be making alot of her decorations and games this year.

I love them so much… and had so much fun making them with Kya ♡♡♡

Lessons I’m learning WITH my child…

I got to be honest. On most days..with my daughter…I’m totally just winging it. She is so bright that sometimes I feel like she is teaching me…rather than the other way around!!! I didn’t have my daughter super early in life. I was 27 and felt I was rather mature. I thought I had learned my fair share of lessons in life. Little did I know… I would be re-learning some very basic lessons WITH my daughter.



1. Social media rarely shows the truth.

You log onto your favorite social media account and what do you see??? Pictures of pristine smiles….

“Oh look…Sally made gourmet cupcakes….again!! I can’t even do that once.”

WOW don’t I feel like a slob…..

Those “perfect family” posts can be depressing on just the right day….but just like we teach our kids… NO ONE is perfect!!!! Social media has made “Keeping up with the Jones'” more like “keeping up with the Jones’…Smith’s… Taylor’s… White’s… Robert’s… Johnson’s”…. it’s too much!!!

Everyone has their good and bad days. We need to stop comparing our lives to others and be the unique individuals that we tell our children they should be… even if that unique individual will never make gourmet cupcakes.


2. Be flexible

Life is tough….while schedules are good for staying organized…don’t depend on them too much. There are so many experts that tell us our children need schedules… structure…structure… However.. all this scheduling from birth makes them totally unprepared when they have to wing it!!

My husband  is a prime example…. THAT’S RIGHT… schedules lead to prison!!! ….

Lol NOOO not really… Prisons are run on a strict schedule… and because of this strict scheduling many inmates do not know how to function or make their own choices when they come home. They end up totally overloaded with all the options. Prisons are aware if this issue and some even send pamphlets to family members of an inmate who is about to parole to educate them on how to help the inmate adjust.  NOW…. it’s not that I’m comparing our children to inmates…not exactly anyway…OH COME ON… sometimes it feels like I’m in a prison. I feel like a warden more than I would like to admit.

Anywho…ease up on the schedules sometimes… exercise your and your child’s ability to simply adapt and go with the flow.


3. Accept that there is no easy way out.

Life is hard and there are no shortcuts!!! Most of the time… if you take a shortcut… you can be guaranteed that it will come back to haunt you. We try to teach our kids that hard work pays off but I think this is a lesson for all ages. We become stronger and more confident people when we conquer something that was difficult.

I would never want to deprive someone of the chance to feel like a real Spartan in their own life. An underdog who rose up and overcame the odds. That’s an amazing feeling!!!

A stroke happens every 40 seconds…

“A stroke happens about every 40 seconds…” (WebMD).

As I said in my last post I recently lost someone… It hasn’t been quite 2 month since the loss yet… and we are still struggling. Even though it hasn’t been long.. it feels like it’s been a year… a whole year if hard time… because it feels that way…. I also feel like some people are wondering when I will get back to normal. I’m pretty sure that feeling is unwarranted but still I feel it.

I know that so many people are aware of what a stroke is and have probably read the symptoms a few times…. but I think that it is something that leaves out minds pretty quick. After all… you dont really expect that your normal day can end in such tragedy. That applies to all tragic events. No one wakes up and says “Today I will die in a car accident”. We live in a world where it isn’t safe to go see a movie anymore. While many tragedies are beyond our control… in most cases…we do have a chance to be saved from a stroke. Unfortunately… in the case of my loved one… he didn’t really have a chance. The particular type of stroke he had is a bit more rare and has a very high mortality rate.

With all of that said I think it is important for us to commit to memory the warning signs and symptoms of a stroke. Looking back… my loved one had nearly every symptom!!!

●Numbness or weakness in your face, arm, or leg, especially on one side

●Confusion or trouble understanding other people

●Trouble speaking

●Trouble seeing with one or both eyes

●Trouble walking or staying balanced or coordinated


●Severe headache that comes on for no known reason

On Hassan’s last day he was at the grocery store with his wife. It was a normal day….even a good day… he and his wife had been joking and playful all day. Upon walking out of the grocery store Hassan told his wife he had a bad headache. His words started to slur and he started to stumble. At first she thought he was joking with her because they have always had a very playful marriage…. but soon he fell into her arms and she knew it was serious.

In most cases of stroke there is a window of opportunity to give the victim their best chance at survival. Acting fast is vital.


Please don’t hesitate to call 911 if you notice any of the symptoms in yourself or a loved one. While it may feel a little embarrassing to call 911 and nothing actually be wrong… it is far better than not calling and your family losing you.

Hassan was more at risk for stroke than some. He was a smoker and had high blood pressure. He had been making efforts to quit smoking but had not been successful yet. It is important for people to understand their risk of stroke and the things that they can possibly do to reduce that risk. Below is a chart that can help you evaluate your risk level or the risk level of someone you love….

We are taking our risk level seriously around here. I had already quit smoking but am trying even harder to eat clean…exercise…and get to an ideal weight. I am still in shock at the sudden loss of such a strong and formidable man. Knowing that a stroke took him makes me truly believe it could take anyone. Please protect yourself and your family from this risk.

Let me tell you about my loss…

As I explained in a previous post… I have just lost someone dear to me. He was my brother essentially. My best friend’s husband… my daughter’s God father and the father of my beautiful God children. He was intertwined in my life in a deep and rooted way. I lost Bernard Luther Coleman Jr…. He was called Hassan or Hot by many…

I had a hard youth. I grew up in rough parts of town. To hear gunshots close by or even have your door kicked in was not an unusual occurrence.

Looking at me today… one may never assume that I would come from that type of background but as is often preached… you can’t judge a book by its cover.


We live in a society full of judgment. Some say that judgement is only natural but I disagree… I believe discernment is natural. When we use discernment we are assessing the situation… deciding if we should proceed… this is a survival skill… we’re not deciding we are better or worse than someone when we use discernment. We are not stereotyping.

When we judge instead of discern we close our minds to so much knowledge and experience.

The above view is one that was shared among Hassan and myself. He was the most non-judgmental and open minded individual you could meet. No matter how hard his life was..when asked how he was doing… he would always say “I’m LOVELY”. He realized the blessing in simply waking up every day. He wasn’t perfect by any means but he owned who he was.

This man literally saved my life on more than one occasion. I won’t go into the gorey details as that is something better saved for later posts and maybe someday a book lol… (yeah my life was crazy like THAT)… but trust me when I say I am only here today because of Hassan.

I know I owe my wonderful life to him and his wife/my best friend. I have been working hard at recovering from this loss but I admit that it’s harder than I could ever imagine…. especially because his wife and children are also so dear to me… Hassan’s passing was sudden. He was having a wonderful day with his wife and suddenly fell into her arms. He had a stroke….


The man who we all felt was bulletproof is gone….

There is no huge memorial wall for Hassan…..

No street named after him…

No national show of grief at his passing….

Yet in my heart…I feel there should be.

So this is my way of sharing his passing with the world… please take a moment to note the loss of Hassan and a moment to pray for his family.

Thank you